Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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