ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
