so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize