I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
