You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
