Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize