why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
