Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
