No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
