So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
