We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
