it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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