Im at strip club and am horny
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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