Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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