cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Send help, water and tortillas.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
