Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
