what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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