Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
