WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
