i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize