i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
