id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
