my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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