So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
