Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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