My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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