I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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