If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
