Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I have post one night stand depression
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