Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
