Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
