sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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