Whats the glycemic index on semen?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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