I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
