quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
