It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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