It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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