his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
