um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize