Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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