cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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