either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
