I bet he comes in French.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
