i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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