Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
