my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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