she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
