Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
