omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
