What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
