at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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