Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
