i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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