I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
